the downfalls of identifying as a parent

When you proclaim your role as your parent as your identity you're disclaiming so much of your individuality. It's natural to want the best for your children and to make their growth and development a priority in your life. But what happens when they disappoint you? How do you respond?

If your child reveals a lack of compassion, indifference to things of true value or a cold heart to those who care for them do you question yourself and the job you've done raising them? Do you take it as a personal failure?

People will be people - and children are people. You can do the best you can to reinforce a world in which you believe in but you cannot control your child's processes or path. You guide them but you don't mold them. You can consistently love them and open doors and create experiences but they are the ones who must internalize, integrate and then engage in the world as they perceive it.

Keep your balance. Keep your individual sense of identity. Keep your children close while you can but then recognize you must let them be free to be who they will be and you must also be free to let you be you without being defined by who you've raised.