People ask me about the sense of safety and security here, compared to home. Richmond is not far from home. While this is going on, back in SR there is a preliminary hearing about another 15 year old girl who was was walking home, grabbed by a car of men, driven to a local school and raped and beaten. She, however, did not have to be hospitalized in critical condition for her injuries. She hid her bruises for a few days out of fear, embarassment and a sense of disgrace. Young women are victimized not only by the violence they've experienced, but again by the societal perception of the experience and questions around their acts or actions that may have "led to" or "warranted" sexual aggression.
This insanity must end. Not to say this is a cultural norm, as fortunately it's not, but for any gathering of 20 men to either participate or passively give their presence to such an atrocious act - it is a strong indication that our society is failing. I don't have the answers, but parents must take the first steps to responsibly raise their children by lovingly teaching them integrity and respect... on so many levels that would make this world a better place.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Uhhh, seriously behind here
Not that it matters too much, but, I've had a few things come up.
ONE - I am tired of trying to explain why I don't date. I've got 2 years left with my kid, whom I adore and whose company I enjoy, and I don't want to spend a chunk of that trying to meet someone special - I've got someone special to focus on and then the rest of my life to find a partner.
TWO - I am surrounded by adorable boys. Adorable younger boys who meet me and think we're much, much closer in age than we really are... and their interest is quite complimentary. And reciprocated... cause they're adorable.
What is too much of an age difference for an uncommitted not-dating but hanging out dynamic? Is there such a thing as too much of an age difference? And does it matter if the woman is older? How young is too young? I ask that cause I was reading a quote from Madonna today (in a serious book about cultural studies) and she stated she likes boys young... like 16 or 17 young. That, for me, is too young. Even thought it's legal here.
Thoughts?
ONE - I am tired of trying to explain why I don't date. I've got 2 years left with my kid, whom I adore and whose company I enjoy, and I don't want to spend a chunk of that trying to meet someone special - I've got someone special to focus on and then the rest of my life to find a partner.
TWO - I am surrounded by adorable boys. Adorable younger boys who meet me and think we're much, much closer in age than we really are... and their interest is quite complimentary. And reciprocated... cause they're adorable.
What is too much of an age difference for an uncommitted not-dating but hanging out dynamic? Is there such a thing as too much of an age difference? And does it matter if the woman is older? How young is too young? I ask that cause I was reading a quote from Madonna today (in a serious book about cultural studies) and she stated she likes boys young... like 16 or 17 young. That, for me, is too young. Even thought it's legal here.
Thoughts?
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Be quiet and learn.
I know a little about a lot of different things and a lot about very little... and sometimes I need to remember to just be quiet and listen and learn.... I tend to get excited about stuff and talk, attempt to uphold my end of a conversation, when in fact, sometimes I'm listening to someone who is an authority in their field, and I really should just shut up and absorb the information the world has put out there for me to glean. Life is an ongoing learning experience, and I'm fortunate that I have the opportunity for a repeat performance, although at a group lecture instead of a one-on-one interaction. The opportunity has not passed, and this time I won't be talking.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
reasons why i dont date... but i'm getting better
I've taken a break from dating as I have such seriously screwy taste in men... it's never a sane, balanced and healthy choice.
BUT - I am getting better... and this is what helped me realize that -
I was on the tram the other day (Europe, not my hometown, but where I'm living - still don't speak the language so keep that in mind while reading) and there was this guy who got on at about the same time as me.
I looked over and quickly registered his presence and my immediate reaction was - Damn, he's hot!.
Thick wavy locks pulled back in a quick ponytail, brown, but sun bleached like a serious surfers, not too tall, not too short, deep tan to go with the sun bleached hair, loose white cotton shirt, dark comfy khakis... he looked calm, cool, and collected. And sexy.
Really sexy.
This is the point where normally my thought process and logic stop. The following is why I say I'm getting better.
We rode on the tram for only 1 stop and the happened to get off together. During the short ride I realized he beyond merely hot and ventured in to incredibly sexy - but there was something more... something else, elusive, mysterious. Definitely mysterious.
As we stepped off I laughed at myself trying to figure out what it was that hung around his presence - and thought, well he's either sexy or he's crazy, it's one of the other... I have these mental conversations sometimes, mocking myself, chastising myself, congratulating myself - whatever it is that's needed at that moment.
Once I thought it I realized - THAT WAS IT! We were walking the same direction and so I had a bit more time to observe him... and somehow my subconscious had picked up on something my consciousness had overlooked... the guy really was crazy. He'd kept it together on the tram, but as crossed the street and made our way in to Tesco it became apparent the man 3 steps ahead of me was definitely off his rocker... the muttering (no earpiece for a phone, trust me I triple checked), the abrupt jolty movements, the off kilter smile accompanied by the empty glazed eyes...
Normally I don't get to the crazy stage - not to say the men I find attractive aren't crazy - THEY ARE - but I just don't usually realize it within the first few... hours, days, minutes.... I find out after I've taken the initiative and engaged in conversation and possibly had dinner or drinks or something - a long time later, is the point.
I was pretty proud of myself. There is hope for me. If I can cut down the recognition lag from days to minutes, there's a chance I can get it before the HE'S HOT thought registers... and then hopefully, maybe someday if I'm luck, just find a not-crazy guy. I don't think that's asking for much... just... not crazy.
BUT - I am getting better... and this is what helped me realize that -
I was on the tram the other day (Europe, not my hometown, but where I'm living - still don't speak the language so keep that in mind while reading) and there was this guy who got on at about the same time as me.
I looked over and quickly registered his presence and my immediate reaction was - Damn, he's hot!.
Thick wavy locks pulled back in a quick ponytail, brown, but sun bleached like a serious surfers, not too tall, not too short, deep tan to go with the sun bleached hair, loose white cotton shirt, dark comfy khakis... he looked calm, cool, and collected. And sexy.
Really sexy.
This is the point where normally my thought process and logic stop. The following is why I say I'm getting better.
We rode on the tram for only 1 stop and the happened to get off together. During the short ride I realized he beyond merely hot and ventured in to incredibly sexy - but there was something more... something else, elusive, mysterious. Definitely mysterious.
As we stepped off I laughed at myself trying to figure out what it was that hung around his presence - and thought, well he's either sexy or he's crazy, it's one of the other... I have these mental conversations sometimes, mocking myself, chastising myself, congratulating myself - whatever it is that's needed at that moment.
Once I thought it I realized - THAT WAS IT! We were walking the same direction and so I had a bit more time to observe him... and somehow my subconscious had picked up on something my consciousness had overlooked... the guy really was crazy. He'd kept it together on the tram, but as crossed the street and made our way in to Tesco it became apparent the man 3 steps ahead of me was definitely off his rocker... the muttering (no earpiece for a phone, trust me I triple checked), the abrupt jolty movements, the off kilter smile accompanied by the empty glazed eyes...
Normally I don't get to the crazy stage - not to say the men I find attractive aren't crazy - THEY ARE - but I just don't usually realize it within the first few... hours, days, minutes.... I find out after I've taken the initiative and engaged in conversation and possibly had dinner or drinks or something - a long time later, is the point.
I was pretty proud of myself. There is hope for me. If I can cut down the recognition lag from days to minutes, there's a chance I can get it before the HE'S HOT thought registers... and then hopefully, maybe someday if I'm luck, just find a not-crazy guy. I don't think that's asking for much... just... not crazy.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
euro male... the refined version
Sorta like a metro-sexual but not - not the level of artificiality I attach to the more slimy metro males.... The euro make is smooth and stylish, comfortable in his own skin - and in yours... he's attentive, listens, engages, and responds in all the right ways, his overtures are more in tune to what women want - by American standards the Euro male is the guy American men hate - sensitive, thoughtful, full of little meaningful gestures and the extra touch...
And it doesn't always lead to sex. American men - they go out of their way in the same manner and they expect to get laid. Here, it's more like an ongoing seduction... a complete seduction - and it's quite nice to be the object of that attention.
However - sex is viewed differently - sexuality is a large component of life while sex is merely a physical act. The emotional connection is not so much love or affection but more interest or desire, monogamy with in a relationship is not necessarily the standard... one person to another is not only permissive but almost expected.
Interests are fleeting, desire is a transitory state, and every physical action has an end.
Ultimately it feels like people change their focus as often as they change their underwear... and hopefully you're changing your underwear in a fairly frequent basis.
And it doesn't always lead to sex. American men - they go out of their way in the same manner and they expect to get laid. Here, it's more like an ongoing seduction... a complete seduction - and it's quite nice to be the object of that attention.
However - sex is viewed differently - sexuality is a large component of life while sex is merely a physical act. The emotional connection is not so much love or affection but more interest or desire, monogamy with in a relationship is not necessarily the standard... one person to another is not only permissive but almost expected.
Interests are fleeting, desire is a transitory state, and every physical action has an end.
Ultimately it feels like people change their focus as often as they change their underwear... and hopefully you're changing your underwear in a fairly frequent basis.
Monday, December 1, 2008
a manly debate
I've had reason to have a conversation recently about my views on dating. They're rather bleak. To sum it up - I don't.
I've been asked why not and have a number of pat responses... no time, no one interests me, not my focal point as I have such a short period of time with my daughter, etc...
However, upon honest reflection, I would like a rewarding and fulfilling relationship that is able to be supportive and respectful of the priority I place upon the Kidlet and allows all parties to be free and secure in this dynamic. Damn that sounds dry!!
I also think if I met someone I found attractive and desirable my non-dating status would fly out the window.
And now I'm here, on the other side of the world and finding that I am attractive and desirable to a wider range of men than I realized. And I'm enjoying it. I have male friends who want to be more than just friends and I don't know what to say to that. It's rather new. I have close male friends, many close male friends, but they're platonic friends. These don't really want to be.
And rather than getting swept up in the rather complimentary attention I find that I am taking a step back and evaluating myself and them... and trying to see if there's some future potential or if it's a passing fancy. I'm coming up with passing fancy.
Which means, that's not dating. That's transitory from the get-go with no intention of a relationship or even a relationship-like dynamic.
I'm also discovering that may be exactly what I need in my life.
I've been asked why not and have a number of pat responses... no time, no one interests me, not my focal point as I have such a short period of time with my daughter, etc...
However, upon honest reflection, I would like a rewarding and fulfilling relationship that is able to be supportive and respectful of the priority I place upon the Kidlet and allows all parties to be free and secure in this dynamic. Damn that sounds dry!!
I also think if I met someone I found attractive and desirable my non-dating status would fly out the window.
And now I'm here, on the other side of the world and finding that I am attractive and desirable to a wider range of men than I realized. And I'm enjoying it. I have male friends who want to be more than just friends and I don't know what to say to that. It's rather new. I have close male friends, many close male friends, but they're platonic friends. These don't really want to be.
And rather than getting swept up in the rather complimentary attention I find that I am taking a step back and evaluating myself and them... and trying to see if there's some future potential or if it's a passing fancy. I'm coming up with passing fancy.
Which means, that's not dating. That's transitory from the get-go with no intention of a relationship or even a relationship-like dynamic.
I'm also discovering that may be exactly what I need in my life.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
My super duper cold
I've been sick with a head cold for weeks now. It's been driving me bonkers, but I've been muddling through (seriously, muddling is the most appropriate word I can think of right now) hoping it would go away.
It hasn't. I've tried 4 different kinds of cold medicine hoping for some sort of relief. Anything to stop the runny, sneezy nose and sore throat, and give me a clear head. Nothing until Monday night. A friend brought me back some Nyquil from Canada and I found some Cold-RX which at least stops the sniffles. Which is good because it was Sunday night that I gave up hope.
You see, Sunday night I went out with some new friends. And I obviously had a cold - I mentioned it's lasting for EVER, and the guy (he's been here 9 years) said, 'yeah, most people get it, and it's your body adjusting to the new germs here.' He had it when he first came, and it lasted for 3 years. My boss at the adult school has had it for 2 years - and I've already mentioned that it seems like everyone here is sick all the time. I guess I've joined them, rank and file.
Which is not the way I wanted to be included, thank you very much. I would have preferred to be embraced by one and all rather than have everyone avoid me as I'm the newest victim of the plague.
And Coral is fine.
It's supposed to snow on Thursday. And it's raining today.
P.S. - Mom - I got your package Monday - thank you so much for the chicken noodle soup (and everything else)! I was going to say you have no idea how timely it is, but if you're reading this far down my post I assume you do! I love you!!
It hasn't. I've tried 4 different kinds of cold medicine hoping for some sort of relief. Anything to stop the runny, sneezy nose and sore throat, and give me a clear head. Nothing until Monday night. A friend brought me back some Nyquil from Canada and I found some Cold-RX which at least stops the sniffles. Which is good because it was Sunday night that I gave up hope.
You see, Sunday night I went out with some new friends. And I obviously had a cold - I mentioned it's lasting for EVER, and the guy (he's been here 9 years) said, 'yeah, most people get it, and it's your body adjusting to the new germs here.' He had it when he first came, and it lasted for 3 years. My boss at the adult school has had it for 2 years - and I've already mentioned that it seems like everyone here is sick all the time. I guess I've joined them, rank and file.
Which is not the way I wanted to be included, thank you very much. I would have preferred to be embraced by one and all rather than have everyone avoid me as I'm the newest victim of the plague.
And Coral is fine.
It's supposed to snow on Thursday. And it's raining today.
P.S. - Mom - I got your package Monday - thank you so much for the chicken noodle soup (and everything else)! I was going to say you have no idea how timely it is, but if you're reading this far down my post I assume you do! I love you!!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Thoughts on Fakies
Ok, that may not be the most apt title I could come up with, but it suffices. I have really thought about this, quite a bit, and am totally serious when I say....
I believe that women with unnaturally large breast implants should not be allowed to have children.
I'm sure that seems a little odd, but I'm thinking of extending the statement to include women with enormous amounts of collagen or any other cosmetic procedure that results in an appearance that is other than natural - you know, lips that take up 1/3 of your face, or cheekbones that are so angular they extend beyond the brow line or are even with your ears, breasts that are triple, quadruple the size of your waist (not taking in to account health issues - we're talking about implants only right now), ribs that have been removed to give an exaggerated hour glass effect - and it works cause you wonder how the girl gets anything larger than a grain of sand down her gullet...
Why, you ask, why, why , why do I have such an extreme view on this???
Good question, I answer.
The perpetuation of an artificial ideal is an abhorrence to me - that a woman is free to choose what she does with her body should be a given - but there should be a choice defined. Choosing drastic plastic surgery in order to achieve a personal version of ideal that has no bearing on a realistic or natural state of the female body should be a choice not only to undergo the procedure but also to forfeit the right to bear - or adopt - children.
It is unfair to force an innocent child to enter a world where their primary focus for so many years of their life, the standard by which they learn to judge the rest of the world and through which they learn about themselves, that that standard should be removed from any basis in reality is wrong.
A little girl should not be allowed to believe that a surgically enhanced caricature of the female body is the norm... there is no way a child growing up within that standard could ever possibly be satisfied with their own physical development - and affirmation for a young girl's body is unlikely to flow from a woman who feels the need to make a mockery of her own physique.
How unfair to the daughters... and the boys - what an unrealistic expectation you are breeding in them! What standard are you setting - that they should expect the female body to be contorted in to a spectacle rather than learn to appreciate a woman for who and how she is - they're deprived of a woman as a role model who has learned to be comfortable with her self, with a reality based physique, with who she is in relation to her body. They are deprived of a woman who can mother them who has learned to accept herself for who she truly is, and can encourage her son to not only accept himself, but to value his partner for substance over shape.
No, I'm not talking about a nose job or a lift or a little nip or tuck here, I'm talking about naturally skinny, smaller breasted women becoming Dolly Parton or bigger... the over the top porn star look... the lips that have been inflated beyond the trout pout and have become a caricature of a cartoon fish... the waist that is so small that two hands can encircle it, touching at the knuckles... this is not referring to any sort of corrective procedure, or a smoothing out, or refining process, but to those types of major undertakings that you see on the street or in a photo and wonder - why? What compelled her? How unhappy, how empty, how shallow, how insecure, how needy, how oblivious, how white bread, how easily swayed by the media, how come???
I believe that women with unnaturally large breast implants should not be allowed to have children.
I'm sure that seems a little odd, but I'm thinking of extending the statement to include women with enormous amounts of collagen or any other cosmetic procedure that results in an appearance that is other than natural - you know, lips that take up 1/3 of your face, or cheekbones that are so angular they extend beyond the brow line or are even with your ears, breasts that are triple, quadruple the size of your waist (not taking in to account health issues - we're talking about implants only right now), ribs that have been removed to give an exaggerated hour glass effect - and it works cause you wonder how the girl gets anything larger than a grain of sand down her gullet...
Why, you ask, why, why , why do I have such an extreme view on this???
Good question, I answer.
The perpetuation of an artificial ideal is an abhorrence to me - that a woman is free to choose what she does with her body should be a given - but there should be a choice defined. Choosing drastic plastic surgery in order to achieve a personal version of ideal that has no bearing on a realistic or natural state of the female body should be a choice not only to undergo the procedure but also to forfeit the right to bear - or adopt - children.
It is unfair to force an innocent child to enter a world where their primary focus for so many years of their life, the standard by which they learn to judge the rest of the world and through which they learn about themselves, that that standard should be removed from any basis in reality is wrong.
A little girl should not be allowed to believe that a surgically enhanced caricature of the female body is the norm... there is no way a child growing up within that standard could ever possibly be satisfied with their own physical development - and affirmation for a young girl's body is unlikely to flow from a woman who feels the need to make a mockery of her own physique.
How unfair to the daughters... and the boys - what an unrealistic expectation you are breeding in them! What standard are you setting - that they should expect the female body to be contorted in to a spectacle rather than learn to appreciate a woman for who and how she is - they're deprived of a woman as a role model who has learned to be comfortable with her self, with a reality based physique, with who she is in relation to her body. They are deprived of a woman who can mother them who has learned to accept herself for who she truly is, and can encourage her son to not only accept himself, but to value his partner for substance over shape.
No, I'm not talking about a nose job or a lift or a little nip or tuck here, I'm talking about naturally skinny, smaller breasted women becoming Dolly Parton or bigger... the over the top porn star look... the lips that have been inflated beyond the trout pout and have become a caricature of a cartoon fish... the waist that is so small that two hands can encircle it, touching at the knuckles... this is not referring to any sort of corrective procedure, or a smoothing out, or refining process, but to those types of major undertakings that you see on the street or in a photo and wonder - why? What compelled her? How unhappy, how empty, how shallow, how insecure, how needy, how oblivious, how white bread, how easily swayed by the media, how come???
Friday, September 19, 2008
My Negelct and Ultimate Return
Ah, yes, gentle readers.... if there are any left, I have neglected you in favor or my other blog, detailing the joint adventure of an international move with my teenager...
It's a little more exciting than these mere musings on motherhood.
And yet, that blog is followed by friends and family interested in the details and daily happenings... and this one is my purely personal outlet. And after much consideration it is about to become even more personal as I delve in to the political... and risk alienating you or two who have paused for a momentary breather.
Be warned... I'm letting you know. I have thoughts and feelings, not just on parenting, but on life and the state of the union and love and the purpose in being and compassion for my fellow man.
You're about to get a double dose. Along with a taste of my contempt for my daughter's father... that know-nothing nuisance.
Be well. Be waiting. Be wary. But most of all, be back.
It's a little more exciting than these mere musings on motherhood.
And yet, that blog is followed by friends and family interested in the details and daily happenings... and this one is my purely personal outlet. And after much consideration it is about to become even more personal as I delve in to the political... and risk alienating you or two who have paused for a momentary breather.
Be warned... I'm letting you know. I have thoughts and feelings, not just on parenting, but on life and the state of the union and love and the purpose in being and compassion for my fellow man.
You're about to get a double dose. Along with a taste of my contempt for my daughter's father... that know-nothing nuisance.
Be well. Be waiting. Be wary. But most of all, be back.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Yet another...
This was far from a surprise, but my sister and my nephew just left. They went back to their home, a multi-hour drive away. My nephew is about 7 1/2 months old and beautiful! He's walking around tables (holding on of course), teething, and babbling away in that endearing little bubbly baby way.
I probably won't see them for at least another year. I know that, I'm not sure they realize it may be that long before I get home. Probably longer. My concern is with getting my Kidlet back and forth to see her friends and family, that outweighs my occasional trip home. That's part of the reason last night was so hard - I don't know how long it will be before I'll see my friends again - and when I make it back I don't know if they'll still be here.
My sister finally lives in the same state as me after years and years cross country and abroad - and I'm leaving. And I was so excited she's (relatively) local - and that I'd get to be a semi-regular part of her life again.
And now, not only is that no longer true, but I'm going to miss out on seeing her firstborn walk and talk and learn how to eat and make messes and explore the world around us.
And that seriously bums me out.
I probably won't see them for at least another year. I know that, I'm not sure they realize it may be that long before I get home. Probably longer. My concern is with getting my Kidlet back and forth to see her friends and family, that outweighs my occasional trip home. That's part of the reason last night was so hard - I don't know how long it will be before I'll see my friends again - and when I make it back I don't know if they'll still be here.
My sister finally lives in the same state as me after years and years cross country and abroad - and I'm leaving. And I was so excited she's (relatively) local - and that I'd get to be a semi-regular part of her life again.
And now, not only is that no longer true, but I'm going to miss out on seeing her firstborn walk and talk and learn how to eat and make messes and explore the world around us.
And that seriously bums me out.
Goodbye again
I went out late for a few hours... I usually head out on Saturday nights. Quite often the same group of friends gather to drink and laugh and be. Some of them were there tonight, and when I finally came home I felt like crying. I am really going to miss my friends. Drinking friends, shopping friends, substantial friends - all of them, I'm going to miss the lawn gnome that pops in every now and then, the Jamacian guy whose name I don't know but always wants to dance with me, the understated dude I just found out I was on a swim team with as a kid who sold me beer for my birthday trip to the races, the woman who has so many friends in common with me but who I don't really know yet I see her dancing up a storm every weekend, and the waitresses who are always so friendly - hell, I'll even miss the waiter who can never get your order right - or on time. These are the trivial people. There are so many more I will miss so much more. And I still feel like crying.
I know an adventure awaits me. I just wish I didn't have to wait for it any longer.
I know an adventure awaits me. I just wish I didn't have to wait for it any longer.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
My friend's film - THE COMMUNE
So I have a childhood friend - I thought I'd known her since we were 5 but my Mom recently informed me we were friends even before kindergarten - apparently we met in ballet class when we were 4 and hit it off then.
We don't live near each other and fell out of contact for a while - yet we've mirrored each other in odd way - interests being one of them. She took filmmaking and writing way further than I have and has just completed her first feature length film. Here's a snippet - you can youtube for more. (yes - that was youtube as a verb).
We don't live near each other and fell out of contact for a while - yet we've mirrored each other in odd way - interests being one of them. She took filmmaking and writing way further than I have and has just completed her first feature length film. Here's a snippet - you can youtube for more. (yes - that was youtube as a verb).
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Moving Violations
So finances are pretty damn tight right now. The lump of money I was expecting - to pay for my international move and tuition for my and Kidlet - was cut down to a mere 1/7...leaving me in a bit of a clinch.
Tonight is my birthday dinner with my friends. I've been rather stressed out about it as the group of friends is expanding in rather unexpected directions - more fringies than those heartfelt few...and I guess I got distracted while I was driving. Sitting and stressing about how everyone will get along and where people should be seated...
And so.... In my residential neighborhood I got pulled over.
And got a ticket. Failure to make a complete stop at the stop sign.
And now I have to pay the fine.
With the money that doesn't exist.
And it will cut in to my moving funds.
And it basically SUCKS.
Happy Birthday to me... Cue music.
Tonight is my birthday dinner with my friends. I've been rather stressed out about it as the group of friends is expanding in rather unexpected directions - more fringies than those heartfelt few...and I guess I got distracted while I was driving. Sitting and stressing about how everyone will get along and where people should be seated...
And so.... In my residential neighborhood I got pulled over.
And got a ticket. Failure to make a complete stop at the stop sign.
And now I have to pay the fine.
With the money that doesn't exist.
And it will cut in to my moving funds.
And it basically SUCKS.
Happy Birthday to me... Cue music.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Heroes... not the tv show
I was jumping around recently, following link to link in a rather incoherent fashion when I stopped on something that really spoke to me - a site about Heroes and the companion blog .
It looked like the concept of Hero was more targeted at men - the idea that men can find a hero not focused in violence or aggression, which is so true and worthy of reinforcement - but what got me is the true lack of mainstream heroes in the media.
I thought about my heroes, the ones I have listed in my myspace...
and this is what I have:
My Mom and Dad,for the outstanding example of how wonderful love can be,
my Sister for her courage and indefatigable attitude,
my young brother for his grace, awareness, and truth,
and my daughter for her intelligence and inner strength and growing awareness of her personal power and what it means to be a woman.
Those I have admiration for: Ghandi, Salah al Din, Jane Austen, Rosa Parks, MLK Jr., my childhood friend Lis, my super hot creative philosophical friend, my cousin Will, genius physicians, those who start up all those NGOs we never hear about yet make the most positive impact for the people whose plights we never hear of, Tesla, the Lumiere brothers, and any number of authors and filmmakers and survivors and innovators whose identities are stashed in the back of my head.
And those are true. My heroes are not steeped in violence or aggression, they are not all widely known or notorious, they are not the pop culture pop tarts our young girls idealize and then idolize, my heroes are those I've known personally who have created more than what was expected, they are the ones who stepped oustide the boundaries of their societies to offer something new and worthy and lasting, they are those who showed strength in merely being - without confrontation or agression, with confidence and faith. My heroes are innovators and survivors and your next door neighbor.
I am a hero to others as well.
Each of us have it within ourselves to be something more or something other than whatever label may have been assigned to you yesterday. You're not merely mothers or employees or actors or writers or masseuses or homeless or beaten or broken or survivors... you are many facets of many things rolled up in to one magnificent thinking breathing being.
And we can each take the time to slow down and be peaceful and respectful and thoughtful and gentle and remember it may not be your own child, it may be the one next door, or the one in the grocery store, or the kid making change at the movie theater, but with decency and genuine interaction we can be a hero to another in our daily life.
Peace.
It looked like the concept of Hero was more targeted at men - the idea that men can find a hero not focused in violence or aggression, which is so true and worthy of reinforcement - but what got me is the true lack of mainstream heroes in the media.
I thought about my heroes, the ones I have listed in my myspace...
and this is what I have:
My Mom and Dad,for the outstanding example of how wonderful love can be,
my Sister for her courage and indefatigable attitude,
my young brother for his grace, awareness, and truth,
and my daughter for her intelligence and inner strength and growing awareness of her personal power and what it means to be a woman.
Those I have admiration for: Ghandi, Salah al Din, Jane Austen, Rosa Parks, MLK Jr., my childhood friend Lis, my super hot creative philosophical friend, my cousin Will, genius physicians, those who start up all those NGOs we never hear about yet make the most positive impact for the people whose plights we never hear of, Tesla, the Lumiere brothers, and any number of authors and filmmakers and survivors and innovators whose identities are stashed in the back of my head.
And those are true. My heroes are not steeped in violence or aggression, they are not all widely known or notorious, they are not the pop culture pop tarts our young girls idealize and then idolize, my heroes are those I've known personally who have created more than what was expected, they are the ones who stepped oustide the boundaries of their societies to offer something new and worthy and lasting, they are those who showed strength in merely being - without confrontation or agression, with confidence and faith. My heroes are innovators and survivors and your next door neighbor.
I am a hero to others as well.
Each of us have it within ourselves to be something more or something other than whatever label may have been assigned to you yesterday. You're not merely mothers or employees or actors or writers or masseuses or homeless or beaten or broken or survivors... you are many facets of many things rolled up in to one magnificent thinking breathing being.
And we can each take the time to slow down and be peaceful and respectful and thoughtful and gentle and remember it may not be your own child, it may be the one next door, or the one in the grocery store, or the kid making change at the movie theater, but with decency and genuine interaction we can be a hero to another in our daily life.
Peace.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
finally, a first in my thirties...
i have never had a crush on a friend like i do on him. he literally makes my heart beat faster and i feel a little giddy when he shows up. this is so lame. he's one of the more thoughtful and interesting guys i've ever met. and after dinner, when he had to leave i was talking with a friend about how damn attractive he is and she said something about it nagging at her, wondering what he'd be like in bed, and i honestly haven't ever been consumed with that - instead i'm just stuck on any form of skin to skin contact and it drives me nuts that he kisses me on the lips when he sees me!!!! like, crazy nuts. i want to really kiss him back instead of the chaste close lipped kiss that's offered along with a deep and intimate hug. and so when i'm seated and he's passing out hugs i o stay seated so minimize whatever crazy making abilities he has over me. but then he keeps coming back, to give me a real, better, hug and a kiss at my level. AND...
I don't want to date him. ever. not ever. he has a terrible track record and is not in to commitment and doesn't hang out with ex's that he was serious about and can date someone for ages without ever feeling like he's made that transition in to boyfriend - which is kind of the point of ongoing long term dating, isn't it?? and he's such a solitary guy that i don't think he'll ever live with a girl. like, ever, never. i've done the guy consumed with privacy and not comfortable with people knowing we're together and quite honestly find that insulting and restrictive - if i'm happy i should be free to share the source of that with those who care about me - friends, family, whatever.... that's the real issue - i'm happy living by myself, prefer it in many ways, but don't want to rule out the possibility of ever living with someone i love.
anyway - just thought i'd tell you how ridiculous i feel having a crush on my friend. and how weird it is that this is the first time that has ever happened to me. ever. that i can think of - i've had crushes before and on people i know - obviously, but not someone i would call a good friend. not someone where i have to keep a conscious thought about not crossing over the line when we're touching or cuddling or whatever... not someone where i have to make sure i don't drink too much as i know i'd do something inappropriate. and not someone where i am actually worried that crossing that invisible barrier would be bad for our friendship. i've never had a crush on someone i care about to this extent. and he means a lot to me. i cherish the friendship - even without the attraction.
i thought i was too old for firsts.
I don't want to date him. ever. not ever. he has a terrible track record and is not in to commitment and doesn't hang out with ex's that he was serious about and can date someone for ages without ever feeling like he's made that transition in to boyfriend - which is kind of the point of ongoing long term dating, isn't it?? and he's such a solitary guy that i don't think he'll ever live with a girl. like, ever, never. i've done the guy consumed with privacy and not comfortable with people knowing we're together and quite honestly find that insulting and restrictive - if i'm happy i should be free to share the source of that with those who care about me - friends, family, whatever.... that's the real issue - i'm happy living by myself, prefer it in many ways, but don't want to rule out the possibility of ever living with someone i love.
anyway - just thought i'd tell you how ridiculous i feel having a crush on my friend. and how weird it is that this is the first time that has ever happened to me. ever. that i can think of - i've had crushes before and on people i know - obviously, but not someone i would call a good friend. not someone where i have to keep a conscious thought about not crossing over the line when we're touching or cuddling or whatever... not someone where i have to make sure i don't drink too much as i know i'd do something inappropriate. and not someone where i am actually worried that crossing that invisible barrier would be bad for our friendship. i've never had a crush on someone i care about to this extent. and he means a lot to me. i cherish the friendship - even without the attraction.
i thought i was too old for firsts.
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