Bad New and No News - Sometimes it's Good News

While today was not a fountain of joyous and calming news, it was a certainly much more of a fount of news than days we've spent at the doctor's in the last few months.

And even though it may have been bad news and then no news, all in all the news and lack thereof resulted in it being a good news day.

Finally we had the exciting drive to the big city to see the big city doc who would fix my small town baby's severe post concussive syndrom. We got to skip the hospital teacher and everything - so I made it a special day!! I introduced my soon to be high school age daughter to the wonder of...SEPHORA. Yes, we left our backwards town at the crack of dawn, hitched the mules to the cart and rode on in to the paved road where we hitched a ride to the bus stop.

Actually I picked up coffee, filled up on gas, which was fortunate, cause then I passed the exit. We made it to Sephora, then SF, found the right Kaiser building, grabbed some burgers, and then met the most wonderful neurologist I've come across in my ten years of neurology visits - which probably number more than the teeth left in your Great-Uncle Jeb's mouth - with his dentures in!

Unfortunately he extended the "return to school date" for my daughter - it was first set in February, two dates offered in March, we went down thinking no later than April 16 (with a secret hope that he might say sooner), and I believe we were both shattered when he said it would be best if she stayed home through the end of the year. Kidlet had already canceled the big school trip to DC and NCY but was shattered when he said no school at all for Jr. High.

That was the bad news. He did redeem himself, and here is the good news that followed the bad news (we'll get to the no news that led to the good news in a sec). This Dr. Raja is one cool dude and def not too old to forget what it's like to be a teen. He suggested it might help her healing if she were allowed to have a presence - no work, no grades, just a social presence on campus - on a regular if not daily basis. The isolation from her friends and classes could slow her recovery even more, and her prolonged absence could have serious ramification on her social and emotional growth if steps are not taken to ensure her place in her social scene in the last semester before high school.

That's the good news - she gets to continue with the personal teacher every day - who adores her - and attend her favorite class and lunch, but not be responsible for classowork, school assigned homework, projects, or any tests - for the rest of the year. She is also to be allowed to participate in dances and things like that. Yeah for Kidlet!! Cheers for Doc Raja!!!

The no news - well, I'm not so hot myself. I have some sort of arterial issue - as in something's wrong with an artery that feeds my brain and so I've been losing my eye sight, falling over, forgetting stuff and not being able to follow directions, feeling like I can't move and my body is numb, and things like that - it seriously bites! The docs, a few of 'em, thought I might have MS but I don't. The neurologist I saw says there's nothing to be done but deal with it my not ever moving my head...hey your shoes untied - dude, that joke could kill me, or give me a stroke or something. Seriously.

So he was pretty nonchalant about the whole thing but I've spent the past few days freakin out. I have been referred down to the big city for another opinion - supposedly a second opinion, but this opinion of the artery thing is actually only the latest in a string of quacky docs so... Oh yeah, our facility doesn't have the ability to do ANY imaging of this sporadically shut down artery either - so no idea if there is anything paliative I could do - or should avoid - like if you rub my neck will you cut off the brain flow entirely or could it increase it???

I was expecting to hear from the SF Kaiser (yepp, the place I spent the day at today) but instead heard back from the nurse. SF is so impacted they cannot see me with the immediacy they believe my condition deserves so the had to return the referral for another facility of my doctor's choosing that could provide me care on a more urgent basis.

I was driving when I heard that and thought - should I turn around and head home?? Should I pull off the highway and find an ER and check in? Am I going to die while I wait for this referral to be completed??? OK, maybe those were dramatic, but the whole SF response and the nurse's version did not work to calm my nerves.

The day went on and a few hours later I heard I was being referred to Sacramento - while normally that would not be my first or second or third choice, I asked for the most appropriate place with the most advanced equipment that could be used for my condition - I trust my primary enough to believe she made an informed decision and will go from there. I was told to expect to hear from Sac to schedule. The hours continued to pass, and as I was in SF for Kidlet's appointment with the specialist I had only my cell - which did not ring, did not show a missed call, and never chimed through with a voicemail. So stuck in rush hour traffice I started to stress - what if Sac doesn't want me either? What if they never finished the referral? How much longer before someone gets a handle on this and I get some good or at least complete information?

Not a good place to be. Rush hour, stop and go, a motorcycle cop on my tail in the carpool lane, a complaining and extremely unhappy and pained teen in the front, overdue on meds, and a bottle of methadone waiting for me in my purse. For two hours. But we made it home alive.

I walked in and there were 6 messages on my home machine. One, only one, but at least one,was from the Sacramento Kaiser - they called to schedule me. My first thought was FUCK! I missed them - but after I called them back, after hours and unable to leave a message, I realized - hey, they have my cell too, they know this is the home number, if it were truly urgent, as urgent as I feared it could be, they would have called my cell to schedule and not given up leaving one message on my home number.

That is how no news can be good news.

Hope the world is here tomorrow so you can continue with what is now your today.

Night.