the onset of insanity

Yeah, I just sent you guys a rather lengthy email, but since that
point in time I realized something - I am going crazy. It is
affecting me more than you, but apologies all the same....I'm just
writing to stave the insanity. We're hiking in Zion tomorrow. I am
looking forward to that. It has healing powers through out the areas
we're going so maybe it will help. Did I tell you there is a crazy
cowboy from Portland that only eats red meat (which does not exist
here) and will not eat fish or ground turkey or buffalo burgers or
boca burgers or vegetables? He shows up for yoga in jeans 4 sizes too
small with his 6" belt buckle, boots, and his hat. He kills me.
Also, this place has ghosts. I can feel them but someone else can see
them. Or we're having simultaneous hallucinations...

Sleep well my pretties...

Further forms of my limited contact with the outside world

Today was a lot harder for me. They have really stepped up the
medication withdrawal and I was having a pretty hard time this
morning....they couldn't find the key for my medication lockbox and so
I was about 3 and half hours late getting my first dose which was hard
because everything was
drasticallyl reduced the day before...it felt awful, but also made me
realize how acclimated my body has become to these meds...and I am
grateful to be getting off!!! The people here are great!!

I've had my heart rate tested to see my target heartrate, have my own
routine with a personal trainer, have worked with a nutritionist who also
tested us today and determined what our resting caloric needs, our
maximum caloric intake and how to calculate our fitness caloric
intake combined with our target heartrate range for burning fat
without going too far and burn muscle, have met with the MD Dr and the
OMD DR and the acupuncuturist and a chiropractor and a physical
therapist and a mind body specialist and an EFT trainer and quite a
number of other health related people too. Next week I'll do Watsu
and another aquatic method that involves two practictioners moving me
that it a lot like Watsu but supposedly more emotionally based.

The weekend guys arrived and brought popcorn and candy and most of us
stayed up too late and ate things that we probably shouldn't have. I
thought I was eating the safe healthy butter free popcorn and instead
I had the kettle corn - and our lecturer brought us all chocolate
kisses - another big no-no. We're on a no dairy no red meat nothing
white low fat sort of diet but with additional arbitrary restriction
randomly determined by "The Kitchen Nazi" - as she calls herself - and
signs her postings.

Today we finally left the grounds and immediate surround ghost towns
and extensive desert, and went in to a town. There we went souvenier
shopping and again - the weekend crew took us to get some
icecream...but I didn't eat the cone.

First sign of life from my time in physical rehab, aka physical HELL!

Hello you lovely luscious ladies -

I started to write you last night but oviously I was as high as a cat
as you willl see from my attempt I was higher than a kite...but at
least I got the first two words out right!!

The place is beautiful, the food is great, the people who work here
are wonderful, most of the "guests" here are pretty cool, and my
roommates are both the youngest person and the oldest person at this
place - 23 and I think 72 or 78. More on that another day - we're
still trying to find our groove here, not that it's uncomfortable, but
still not quite groovin just yet. I had 4 medical or physical
appointments and a massage yesterday. I think I have 4 more today and
another massage, and we're going hiking in a ghost town just down the
road.

I forgot to tell you - we are in the middle of no where, down obscured
road with warning signs about fire arms, and then down a few more dirt
roads - I couldn't escape if I wanted to...but I don't so that's ok -
there is zero light interference out here and the sky is AMAZING!!

OK I'm going to eat and then get doped up again, but I hope you three
have a lovely day and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Jen




Hey there firk-================afc


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